time is ....

so thats by now anyone who is still stumbling across this site has realized that I havent posted since my last year of Seminary started...well thats the joke right, I'm either to uninterested to post or I'm so busy that I can't, so which is it? Really, its the latter. So here is my update of almost a semester.
I have two internships in addition to my fieldplacement, which brings my workload outside of school up to almost 40 hrs. a week. School is good, but a little brutal. Even though I only have three classes, having them all stacked takes a lot of concentration. As usual, some of them are better than others. I am though, to my mild surprise, enjoying my Asthetical Theology class...I just wish I had more time to read the books.

I mentioned my two internships: well one is at ECC and one is at Seamans Church Instiute. They are both interesting in their own ways, but SCI makes me wish I had a car. Its in Newark and the scrum for the PATH train is not condusive to my mood in the morning.

the biggest unspoken stress right now is finding a job. I will graduate from Seminary in approximately six months and I would like to not have to worry about where We are going to live, how Im going to pay back all the money I borrowed to finish this degree...and so forth... I have a few leads, but the uncertainty, combined with the constraints of the job needing to be within easy commute of NYC, makes me ill if I think about it for more than a few seconds. So I try not to.

ouch!

yeah, that hurts.

That being defined as my entire body.
I finished my first triathlon yesterday. Its a good thing that I wasnt planning on winning anything cause I wasnt even close. I finished in 1 hour, 17 minutes, and 55 seconds. That was good enough for 141st place...out of 238. I was 15th in the Clydesdale division.

But I finished...
That in itself is a victory. I also learned a great deal about racing triathalons, especially the open water swim, and the cumulative effect of doing all three disciplines. I also had a decision to make when I finished: Is this something that I want to continue to do? do I put energy into this? The answer is yes. So now I have a list of things that I can and will improve and things that I've learned, and I look forward to improving.

Speaking of things that I learned: the night before a triathlon, stay at a hotel, or if you are going to camp, get some serious bug spray. I dont know whats flying around Cape May County, but they're tiny, theres a lot of them, and they bite really hard. Yeah, well rested I was not.

The Bush adminstration isnt the only one with mission creep

I have three days until I participate in my first triathlon. I'm about as ready as I'm going to be for this race, no thanks to some recent drama with vehicles. All I have to do now is not work out and manage my expecations. Its not as easy as it sounds. I had a pretty consistant training schedule down and I knew when to push and when not to, but this past week I've been tapering so that Im rested and repaired, and its killing me. Last night on the bike I had to actively keep myself from pushing hard because I knew that I was going to do a shorter ride than normal. hopefully that means I'm ready for the race. Even harder than keeping the workout drive in check is managing my expectations for the race. It is the first time that I have done a triathlon, the first time that I have swum more than a few yards in open water, ...and on. I'm competeing as a Clydesdale (male over 200lbs) which means that, while I'm not competing against the skinny guys I will be in the same bracket as people that are carrying 40lbs less than me. All of that said, I still catch my self thinking about what it will be like to win the category...-What?! my goal is not to drown in the swim! I just want to finish the race and leave competing to win categories to another year, maybe 2010. Maybe I'm watching the olympics too much.

Speaking of, since when is it a failure if you dont win gold in the Olympics? Set aside the fact the Michael Phelps is a superfreak (I mean that in a good way). Last time I checked, just making it to the Olympics is pretty prestigious. Thats why I can't stand articles like this one on Katie Hoff. She won medals, she finished fourth twice during world record setting races, but its a "disappointing" Olympics because she didnt win gold. Shes 19!!!!!! I considered it a victory that I vacumned the floor at 19. Hoff and a team mate failed to qualify for the 800 free last night. Just like in track, the 800 is the hardest event in the pool, period. To win you basically have to swim at the same pace that you would a 400. I loved to watch a friend of mine compete and win the 800 in high school, but I, being a shot putter and discus thrower at the time, thought they should have an ambulance at every high school track meet to re-insert the lungs of everyone that ran the 800 after they had coughed them up. Katie Hoff more than likely feels disappointed, but she is most assuredly not a disappointing athlete...shes at the Olympics. They dont exactly give out places on that team.

anybody else have a bit of dejavu

So who else noticed that the daily mass Gospel was almost the same as the Gospel yesterday...anybody...ANDYBODY... well I preached at noon mass ye olde church today and it was a little odd having to cover material that the rector had just elucidated yesterday. But hey, Im fairly sure that no heresy was preached, so life is good.

If the two of you readers are wondering why no posts lately, I dont have inter-webs since the neighbors moved out. Not a huge deal. I read more at home which is good practice for the fall. Im one of those people who gets side-tracked easily.

Speaking of class, tremble at the sound, I have a month of "vacation" left before the madness of my final year officially starts. I find this slightly troubling

Random bits

I'm sore in muscles that I didnt know I had.
Training for a triathlon is in full swing, and I even have a triathlong picked out...finally. Im going to do the tuckahoe Triathlon in Marmora, NJ. It seems like a good first course, and as long as I dont drown during the swim I should be fine.

I've been thinking a lot about this mornings reading from Matthew. The reaction of the crowd and the persistance of the blind men strike a resonance with me. I can see parallels in what is happening around me this month. In the crowd there is self-focus taken to an unhealthy level. They shut out the cries of the truely desperate in order get their "need" fulfilled. The blind mens' persistance and the fact that that persistance pays off is heartning.

Where is home?

So I just got back from week in Montana. My wife and I decided that we were going to go light on the connectivity, so we didnt bring computers and only checked email once a day (horrors)...hence no posts. Omre than one time on airplane rides to Montana, I refered to Montana as home, resulting in several highly skeptical looks from my wife and questions to the effect of "and what then do you call our apartment in at the seminary?" I have to admit that she has a good point. Montana is where I am from, but it ws clear to me on this trip that is not home, not really. Which begs the question: where is home for me? It's not Montana, although I hope it might be again some day, but its hard for me to say that NYC is home as well. At best it is a temporary waypoint, a place to learn about how little I know about ministry and the church. This morning as I was reflecting on where home was this popped into my head.: Matthew 8.20:
20 -->And Jesus said to him, ‘Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests; but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.’ .....hhhmmm

Why do I run?

I am training for a triathlon...
sort of...

I was training for most of the spring to do a triathlon this summer. School got in the way. It was the final three weeks of the semester, really. It collided with the uptick in the training schedule that I was following and I had to make a choice-pass my classes or continue training. I chose to pass my classes and my training got pretty derailed. I think that this was for the best, and I have sort of a vague notion of doing a triathlon in the fall...God willing. I havent restarted my training schedule yet, and in the interim I'm just kind of catch as catch canning the four disciplines (yes four disciplines-running, biking, swimming, and strength training). Last night I decided to go for a post-work run, though I was lacking any semblance of motivation. As I hit a wall at a mile and a half, I started asking myself questions: Why do I run? What does this contibute to the glory of God? Isn't this just a vain attempt to fulfill some ideal?

Short answer: because I want to, it just does, well of course it is.

Longer more thoughtful answer that actually sustained me through my run (although at a bit slower pace): I run for a complex variety of reasons. I run to challenge my self - I've never been very good at it. I run while I can-before my hip decides to go all lego pieces again. I run becuase it makes me a better person, not just physically, but menatlly, emotionaly and even spiritually. On a good day, running becomes one long prayer set to the rhythem of my feet, singing the joy that I feel in the sinews of my body-the joy of my createdness. I run also for darker reasons. I run to match pain to pain, physical to emotional or mental or spiritual. I run to feel something. Is part of me chasing some ideal body image? yep. I've always wrestled with that (though not as much as some people think!) but it is much less my motavating factor now. I run because I want to for all of the above reasons. The same goes for bicycling. Swimming- well swimming is a different story. I, great oak boned lump that I am, havent reached this point in swimming yet. I take some enjoyment in swimming, but I cant let my mind wander because my form, the important part of swimming, isn't fully formed yet. I like my rotator cuffs and I want them to be around for a while, so i have to pay attention to my form.
Its funny. I tell people that Im training for a triathlon and I can see the Wide world of Sports clips running through their heads. The people staggering, crawling across the finish line in the Hawaiian heat. Yeah, thats not me, at least not yet. Maybe someday, by the grace of God. But first lets see how God feels about a nice short sprint.

MOOooo...

So I was coming out of the 7 train this morning and I headed for the nearest exit, along with a few hundred close friends. As I wasslowly shuffling toward the staircase, I started dispationately observing the system the the MTA has put in place. The only thing that I could think of was a cattle chute. The railing on ether sid of the crowd started wide, then narrowed, funneling the hapless, mid-town livestock onto the stairs in such a way that there wouldnt be a fuss when we got to the escalator. Ahh, a well run escalator, where people make room for there fellow person. Anyway, the more that I thought about the similarities of the subway ramp to a cattle chute and the fact that it didnt really surprise me I was taken with a strong urge to Moo very loudly. Its not the first time this has happened, but it was the first time that I have been by myself. Usually I will lean over to my wife at this point and moo or bleat softly. But today I was feeling a full throated Moo, just because. So I did. I gave my best Moo at the top of my lungs. Every one stopped, all several hundred and they all looked at me and... no not really. I didnt make a sound, I just kept shuffling like a good little beastie, but I did wonder whether people would have even blinked if I had.

rain...great

Usually I don't mind rain. As a kid, I was fascinated by rain, and it took lightning under 2 seconds away to make me stay inside. Here in Newyork, I've gotten to watch some specatular storms. Usually I dont mind rain, but I have a feeling that in a few moments when I go outside to walk to the subway station, I am going to mind very much. Its been raining for hours, but it was nice this morning and I didnt think to grab a jacket or an umbrella. Oh well, maybe the wife will like the wet look. Guess there isnt going to be a TNB tonight...but you never know.
I'm doing some light summer reading tas well as everything else this summer. I just started Liturgical Theology by Aidan Kavanaugh. I'm only 26 pages into the book, but Kavanaugh has some very insightful thoughts about the divorce of the theological work of the academe and the thought and practice of the pastors of the church, and this is just the introduction. I think that this is going to be a good choice.

yes, I am a risen senior

So I'm creating a blog. Lets just hope this one works out better. I have no intention saying anything profound. I'm mostly doing this to help friends and family get a glimpse of what is going on in my life. . . and anyone else who really wants to know I suppose. So obviously I am very aware of a small clock that is ticking in my head. 366 days from today, on the 20th of May, 2009 I graduate from seminary. There, I said it. It has been spoken, put into the ether of cyberland. The thought of being done with a process that I've been aiming at since 2002 is more than a little terrifying. I've set up this demarcation in my head about graduating from seminary. Its the big (time-wise) hurrdle in my process to the priesthood (The Episcopal Church- hence being married). So I try not to think about it. But I invariably do.
On a less distressing note, I talked to someone at Seamans Institute today. I'm hoping to do a diaconal project there. Diaconal project? Well its something that you do when your a deacon, that teaches you what it means to be a deacon. After all once a deacon always a deacon ( once a king or queen in Narnia...). Lately though I have been thinking that even if my ordination plans don't work out I might work a bit at the Institute anyway. It sounds pretty awesome, and I will have time.